I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
this hospital has no fireball
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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