I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
