my mouth tastes like poor choices
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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