Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
