So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
