I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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