McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
