she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
