I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
