just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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