Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
