We named our party play list daddy issues
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
