'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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