i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
