My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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