all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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