Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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