You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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