I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
