It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
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