Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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