The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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