He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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