I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
