i wish there were pregnant emoticons
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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