And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
