Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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