so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
