its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
