she smelled like a LAN party
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
