Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
