it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
