a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
