capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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