she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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