I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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