Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
