how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
