their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
