508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
There's even glitter on my cock...
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