but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
