why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
