If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
