did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
