im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
