You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
