Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
