Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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