Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
