I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
