Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
