How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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